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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25060255">Standing Right In Front Of You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieandChimney/pseuds/MaddieandChimney'>MaddieandChimney</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, based on rebar episode in season 1, tw: car accident, tw: injury</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:09:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,688</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25060255</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieandChimney/pseuds/MaddieandChimney</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Maddie turns up in LA on the run from her husband, she doesn’t expect to fall for her brothers colleague. Especially not one who is about to ask his girlfriend to marry him. </p><p>AU - Maddie turns up in season 1 and is there for rebar. Entirely based on 1x03.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Madney One-Shots</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Standing Right In Front Of You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They’re friends.</p><p>Maddie knows that’s all they’ll ever be but it still hurts when he shows her the ring with a massive smile on his face. A part of her wants to be a good friend and ask him if he’s sure but the part of her that’s in love with him shoves that down. Because if he ever finds out how she feels, he’ll just assume she was being bitter.</p><p>Besides, she has no right to feel the way she feels – when she first turned up in LA, she was running from her abusive husband and all she wanted was a friend. Those boundaries had been easy to set considering he was already in a relationship with Tatiana by the time she was given the chance to get to know him but the more time that passed, the more Maddie found herself forgetting about the girlfriend.</p><p>Chimney, sweet, kind Chimney who had gone out of his way to make sure she felt safe, even when she was only a stranger to him. Who had spent Christmas with her when she had wanted a small event and Tatiana had gone out of town to see her family (neither of them spoke about how he hadn’t been invited). Chimney who had held her hand whilst she was in the hospital after her husband had found her.</p><p>He was just a friend, though, and as she’s staring at the ring he’s holding out in front of him, telling her about how he can’t wait to ask Tatiana to marry him, every ounce of hope she once had disappears. So, she stands there with the biggest, fakest smile she can possibly muster and wraps her arms around him, whispering a congratulations before she makes her excuses.</p><p>It’s not the first night she’s spent crying over the paramedic, holding onto her pillow before her brother crawls into the bed next to her and wraps his arms around her, telling her he’s sorry.</p><p>.</p><p>Chimney smiles nervously to himself as he plates up the food that Bobby cooked for him, taking a deep breath when he looks up at the blonde sitting on their couch. This is what people who love each other are meant to do, so he has no idea why he’s so nervous. He loves her, she loves him, they live together, this is just the inevitable next step in their relationship. The way things were meant to be – next came marriage and then kids and maybe his mother would be happy for him, maybe his father would finally be proud.</p><p>He’s only told one person of his intentions, in the hopes she’d talk him out of it, that she would tell him he was doing the wrong thing. Instead, when she smiled and wrapped her arms around him, he knew he was doing the right thing. They were just friends, and what he felt for her wasn’t right or fair, not on her and not on Tatiana. Maybe if they got married, that would fix everything.</p><p>Only, it fixes nothing because Tatiana is looking at him as though he’s backed her into a corner and she’s trying to find a way out. And his first feeling is relief, <em>relieved</em> when she’s not throwing her arms around him shouting yes and he doesn’t know what to do with that.</p><p>“Just give me a few days.”</p><p>He smiles, hating that his first thought is embarrassment, but he nods his head anyway because he and Tatiana are meant to be, she has to be. “Of course. Yes. Sure, of course.”</p><p>He had told Maddie he would tell her everything that night, but every time he tries to type something, he quickly deletes it, embarrassment forcing him into silence before he wraps an arm around a sleeping Tatiana as he tries not to think about his friend.</p><p>.</p><p>When he walks into work the next day, it’s all he can think about. He remembers when Hen asked Karen to marry her and how happy the two of them had been for <em>weeks</em> afterwards, how sure they had been that they wanted to marry each other. Maybe that was how it was meant to be, not this uncertainty.</p><p>“I’m a good looking guy, right? I mean… like you can do a lot worse than me, yeah?” He desperately looks between Bobby, Buck and then Hen, gripping at the counter edge in front of him as he frowns.</p><p>“Chimney, I’ve done a whole lot worse than you.” Hen is the first to answer, with a smirk on her face, trying to alleviate the seriousness of his tone with some humour, it doesn’t work.</p><p>“You think I’d be a good father?”</p><p>“Of course, what is this about?”</p><p>Buck is the first to tense up, cheeks flushing pink as he grabs the bowls from Bobby with a small, forced smile. When Chimney speaks, he’s the only one who doesn’t look at him, “I asked Tatiana to marry me.”</p><p>Hen’s face drops, even Chimney doesn’t miss the way she glances at Buck, who is doing everything he can to avoid looking at the man across from him. Bobby just looks… disapproving, shaking his head a little before he’s forced to explain himself. Tell them everything she had told him, that she had cheated before, that if she said no they would have to break up and that she simply didn’t know.</p><p>Buck stays silent, shaking his head as he walks away from them, focusing on the task of setting the table in an attempt to avoid saying anything he might regret. Hen is the only one who offers him a little sympathy, a small smile on her face that is perhaps closer to a grimace before Bobby chimes in, “Probably for the best.”</p><p>Perhaps it’s because a part of him agrees, maybe that’s why it hurts so much to hear it. He’s never been quick to anger, never been one to disrespect anyone but he’s not sure he can take any more pain. So, even when Bobby tries to take it back, Chimney doesn’t let it go like he normally would. “Of course you meant something by it. ‘Probably for the best’ – there’s a lot of meaning behind it. What? You-you don’t like her?”</p><p>He’d be blind to miss the way Bobby locks eyes with Buck before he turns back to Chimney and shrugs his shoulders, “I never said I don’t like her. I don’t like her for you.”</p><p>Chimney doesn’t see the implied meaning behind it, he doesn’t know that everyone else apart from him and Maddie can see what’s meant to be. So, instead of taking it for the well-meaning, caring way it’s intended, he’s angry. Rejected, constantly rejected by the people who are meant to love him. He pushes all the right buttons, voice raised, heart thumping against his chest as he looks at the man he thought was his friend and just wishes he could be anywhere other than where he was right then.</p><p>Even when Bobby tries to drop it, Chimney knows he could have so easily walked away, saved himself any more hurt. Not ready and not willing to hear the truth, especially not from the people who know him best.</p><p>“You’re living a lie, man, you let her manipulate you! You pretend to be someone you’re not when you’re around her, making up stories to satisfy some hero fetish of hers, what is that? Chimney, this relationship you’re in is fuelled by lies. You ask me to make you two dinner so you can pass it off as your own… she’s not in love with you. She’s in love with this fantasy version of you and you’re missing out on someone who actually loves you for you.”</p><p>“Cap.” Buck interrupts him, shaking his head, hand waving in front of his throat in an attempt to stop Bobby before he can say anything. Chimney’s too far gone into his anger to notice, “You know what? I feel really bad for your wife, I really do, must be tough living with someone who thinks he’s right all the time.”</p><p>“Chim—”</p><p>“No, I’m getting some air.”</p><p>.</p><p>He has every intention of going back, and actually starting his shift. He really does but he’s driving away from the firehouse before he can think of doing anything else. Bobby’s words run through his head over and over again, his grip on the steering wheel tightening.</p><p>All he can think about is Maddie’s face when he told her he was going to propose to Tatiana, that wide smile on her face that never reached her eyes, how her voice had broke when she hugged him and made her excuses to leave. How Buck wouldn’t even look him in the eyes, and then Bobby – <em>you’re missing out on someone who actually loves you for you</em>.</p><p>“Call Tatiana.” He instructs, shaking off those thoughts as he takes a deep, trembling breath. It’s his imagination – he and Maddie have been friends for over a year, they watch movies together, they eat takeout and they tell each other everything. But he has Tatiana and she still has the ghost of her dead husband haunting her. Tatiana doesn’t answer, and he shouldn’t be surprised, not really.</p><p>He puts his foot down that little more on the gas, trying to ignore every thought running through his head until he’s slamming on his brakes. For just a second, he thinks he’s gotten lucky, only for a second before there’s a sickening crushing noise and suddenly, everything goes black.</p><p>
  <em>Maddie. </em>
</p><p>.</p><p>Maddie’s entire body is shaking as she paces the floor of the family room in the hospital, fists clenching at her sides as takes a deep breath. The tears fall, even when she thinks there aren’t possibly anymore that could fall. She’s not family, she doesn’t even know why she’s there but no one else is, she’s completely alone waiting for him to come out of surgery.</p><p>The minute Buck had called her, she could sense something wasn’t right, when he had explained to her, his words slow and cautious. She could feel the panic behind them, her hand clutching at her phone before she made her excuses to Josh, promising him she’d explain later, running out of work without a second thought. All she knew was that it was extremely likely that Chimney was going to die that night, and she needed to be there to hear it.</p><p>Bobby, Buck and Hen couldn’t be, they had to work, they had other people to help. Buck didn’t understand it, not really, telling her he wishes he could be there with her, so she didn’t have to be alone. But she knows that Bobby is a good captain and a great friend, that they’re a family and if he thought it was better for them to be there going crazy waiting for news as she was right then, they’d be there. Instead, he’s keeping their minds focused on something else, so none of them have the time to think of the worst case scenario.</p><p>Just as she’s doing right then.</p><p>There was a piece of rebar through his head. They had to take him to the hospital still in the car because it was the only way to get him there alive. There was a literal piece of metal tubing through his brain, and as a previous nurse, of all the similar injuries she’s seen, she’s never known a patient to come out it unscathed.</p><p>Tatiana should be there. Even if she didn’t say yes to the proposal, she should still be there, for Chimney. He’d want her there, even if no one else did.</p><p>She’s pulled from her thoughts by the surgeon walking into the room, a look on her face that she can’t quite read. It takes everything in her not to sink down onto the nearest chair, one hand falling into the other, fingers enclosed as she prays to whatever God she doesn’t truly believe in that he’s alive. “He made it through the surgery.”</p><p>It’s enough. Whatever comes next, he made it through the surgery. His heart is still beating and there’s still hope that she can cling to. “H-he’s alive?”</p><p>“There were some complications, his brain started to haemorrhage…” Which means brain damage, probably, in the very least. Her heart sinks, her stomach churning as she takes a deep breath, moving only to wipe the tears that have started to fall once again. “We got the bleeding under control but we’ve had to place him in a medically induced coma.”</p><p>All she can do is nod, still clinging onto the hope she had seconds before. He’s alive, that’s a win, even if it’s their only win, his heart is still beating and he’s still got a chance of opening his eyes one day. Only… it’s an if and not a when. “I need to see him.” She shakes her head the moment the other woman opens her mouth, knowing what she’s going to say before she does, “I know there’s protocol but he’s on his own right now. And we don’t know if he can feel or hear anything going on around him. So, he’s alone, and I need to hold his hand and I need for you to make sure that happens. I-If he dies, if he doesn’t wake him – I can’t live with myself knowing he went through that on his own, can you?”</p><p>.</p><p>Maddie barely leaves his side, her hand clinging onto his, just talking to him about anything and everything. It’s been three days and Tatiana hasn’t shown her face, and Maddie hates herself but she feels relieved. As though somehow, she’s the one who belongs by his side and not the blonde he was so ready to commit the rest of his life too. She also hates her for not seeing what an amazing person he is, for not loving him in the way he deserves, in the way he loves her.</p><p>Bobby has promised her that he’ll sort it out, that he’ll make sure Tatiana is there for him, holding his hand when he opens his eyes. It hurts, knowing she’s not going to be good enough, that she’s not the woman he’s going to want to open his eyes and see first.</p><p>She brings his hand to her lips, pressing soft kisses against each knuckle as she decides to make the most of every last second of his eyes being closed. He’s being pulled from his coma, and she hates herself but it means she only has a few more hours of pretending. The nurses and the doctors just assume that she’s his girlfriend and it sounds creepy and awful but she doesn’t correct them. She only holds his hand and tells him stupid stories about her childhood, all the idiotic things she used to catch Buck doing. She rehashes the entire Mission Impossible plot to him even though he’s seen the movie a thousand times because she hopes it’s somewhat of a comfort to him. She sings to him, she promises him that he’s going to be okay, even if she isn’t too sure of that.</p><p>Mostly, she tells him that she loves him, partly hoping he can’t hear her but mostly hoping he can, so he knows that she tried. “You’re going to open those beautiful eyes in a few hours, Chim and we… we don’t know if you’re going to be okay. We don’t know what to expect but I-I… you’re my best friend and I know I’m not yours and I don’t expect you to feel the same way, that wouldn’t be fair. But you are—I’ve never had a best friend before, not really. I just want my friend to be okay, I don’t care if you don’t love me the same way I love you. I just want you to be okay.”</p><p>Her eyes look up when the door slides open, Bobby walking in first with a shake of his head and a small grimace. He couldn’t get Tatiana to come, and she hates the woman more than she’s ever hated anyone before because even for an hour, she could have just <em>pretended</em> as though she deserved him. Even if it was just to hold his hands for ten minutes and be the first face he sees. He’s dedicated over a year of his life to her, he bought her a ring, they live together and… she couldn’t even give him ten minutes.  </p><p>“I know.” Bobby whispers, hand on her shoulder, as though he knows exactly what she’s thinking right then. “But he has everyone who loves him here. That’s all that matters, Maddie. You’re here.”</p><p>“But he doesn’t love me. He doesn’t want me.”</p><p>None of the other three in the room say a word, as Buck moves to sit on the chair on the other side of the bed, Hen standing there awkwardly as she looks down at her best friend. Her bottom lip trembles, her throat tightening as she tries to take a deep breath. “W-we’re here, Chim. We’re here.”</p><p>There’s new hope when there’s a gentle movement of his hands, fingers clenching ever so softly against her knuckles as she lets out a gut-wrenching sob despite the smile on her face. “H-he heard… he heard me.”</p><p>Bobby’s smile matches her own, rubbing her back ever so gently, “He heard you.”</p><p>Hen moves to sit on the bed, her hand rubbing his leg ever so gently, before Buck, tear-filled eyes and a voice full of confidence and hope, leans forward, “Hey, I-I was thinking, maybe when you come back to work, you should do the manoeuvre instead of me.” Three pairs of eyes fall onto him and Maddie has to resist every urge inside of her to let go of Chimney’s hand only to slap him across the head for even suggesting it, “What? To motivate him to get better.”</p><p>“He can’t do the manoeuvre.” Hen points out.</p><p>“Yeah, he can. Chim, you can do the manoeuvre, right?” Maddie recognises what her brother is doing, that he’s trying to focus on the future, on the possibility that there is one that involves Chimney coming back to work and being okay. A flood of tears gush down pale cheeks when his hand pulls from hers ever so slightly, only to put his thumb up. <em>Chimney, </em>her Chimney was still in there, still making her and everyone else in the room laugh despite everything.</p><p>.</p><p>It’s another day before his eyes open, blurry vision settling on the face of the woman he wants to see more than he’s ever wanted to see another person. Her hand is still in his, the soft skin of her thumb gently brushing against the back of his hand as she awkwardly flicks the page of her book with a single hand, seemingly engrossed in it as he just watches her, blinking tired eyes in an attempt to adjust his vision.</p><p>“M-Maddie?” His voice doesn’t sound like his own, throat dry and sore, but it’s enough to pull her from her book before she stands. There’s the smallest of smiles on her face, leaning over only to press her lips to his cheek, “There’s those eyes, I missed them.” Before he can reply, before he can thank her for being there, before he can tell her that he heard what she had said before he had fully woken up, she’s pulling away and talking again. “I-I c-can… water. You must need water. I’ll… it’s so good to see your eyes, Chimney. It’s so good to hear your voice. I’m so happy to… I’m so happy.”</p><p>She pulls her hand from his and he’s never felt emptier than he does in that moment, sniffing quietly as tears threaten to fall from sore, heavy eyes. He closes them for only a second, opening them once more to watch as she pours him a cup of water with trembling hands, “Tatiana?” He hates how she flinches when he mentions that name, hates how he’s hurting her.</p><p>“I-I can… I can try and ring her?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“No?”</p><p>“N-no.” It hurts to talk, but he has to get it out before he loses any ounce of confidence he feels building inside of him right then. He could have died, not only that, but he should have died. The least he owes to the universe is to be honest, even if she can’t handle whatever is going to come next – if he can walk, if he can remember everything, if he’ll never be able to work again. “Got you. All I need.”</p><p>His throat is scratchy, forcing her to walk back to him and hold the straw to his lips as she gives him a small smile, “You’re sweet.” It doesn’t reach her eyes though, a light tinge of pink on her cheeks, as though she doesn’t believe that he means what he’s saying, that he’s… saying it to be nice.</p><p>When she pulls the straw from his lips, his throat feels just that little bit better, hand moving to tug on hers. “Lay with me?”</p><p>“I-I don’t want to hurt…”</p><p>“You’re not going to hurt me. Lay with me.” Her eyes glance up nervously towards the door, as though she’s worried they’re going to get in trouble. It only takes her a second to decide she doesn’t care, carefully sliding down onto the bed before she rests her head on top of his chest, hand on his stomach as she rubs small circles in the way he likes. The way Tatiana has never understood or done for him.</p><p>His arm wraps around her shoulders, closing his eyes when he feels the wetness against his hospital gown where her head lays, “Thank you for fighting. I don’t want to do life without you.”</p><p>“Thank you for being here.” It doesn't seem enough, knowing she's barely left the hospital in days, that she's held his hand and tried to give him a feeling and a voice to cling onto, to come back to. A million thank you's will never be enough. </p><p>“Always.”</p><p> </p>
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